Educated: A Memoir
Written by Sophia
This book is a biography of Tara Westover. I had a brief understanding before starting to read this book, as my mother introduced that the author lived in an isolated family without formal education but sought knowledge and completed a Ph.D., realizing the significance of being educated.
Overview
In 2018, Tara Westover told The New York Times, “I wrote the book I wished I could have given to myself when I was losing my family. When I was going through that experience, I became aware of how important stories are in telling us how to live — how we should feel when we should feel proud, when we should feel ashamed. I was losing my family, and it seemed to me that there were no stories for that — no stories about what to do when loyalty to your family was somehow in conflict with loyalty to yourself. And forgiveness. I wanted a story about forgiveness that did not conflate forgiveness with reconciliation, or did not treat reconciliation as the highest form of forgiveness. In my life, I knew the two might always be separate. I didn’t know if I would ever reconcile with my family, and I needed to believe that I could forgive, regardless.”
After reading this, I can envision a girl who was tormented by her broken family. In contrast, I come from a happy family, so it may be difficult for me to truly empathize since I haven’t experienced such hardships. However, throughout my reading, I approached this book with empathy and tried to put myself in the author’s shoes.
After finishing the entire book, I was astonished and impressed by how this girl transformed herself in such an extreme environment and family context. She saved herself and her destiny by acquiring endless education.
This book review combines a summary of important parts of Tara’s growth with an analysis of each character in the biography.
Tara briefly introduces her condition and her family. They live in Buck’s Peak, Idaho, a place that is mostly isolated but not as isolated as their mindset. There were many kids in the family: Richard, Tony, Tyler, Shawn, Audrey, and Tara. Tara was the youngest among them all but had the most potential. A crucial fact is that all the family members were Mormons and particularly devout due to the influence of their father Gene and the compliance of their mother Faye. While regular Mormons believed in modesty, this family practiced it; while others believed in God’s power to heal, they left their injuries in God’s hands; while others prepared for the Second Coming of Christ, they were already prepared.
Key Quotes
- “First find out what you are capable of then decide who you are.”
- “The past was a ghost, insubstantial, unaffecting. Only the future had weight.”
- “You could call this selfhood many things. Transformation. Metamorphosis. Falsity. Betrayal. I call it an education.”
Family Background
Gene
The father, Gene, was an extremely superstitious man and he educated the children to believe in God and the Bible, he stipulated all the children not to attend any school studying as he was against the government. Gene was an eccentric and unconventional person. He constantly believes schools are places where the government brainwashes the people, where Satan dominates, and to fight these devils, the children should be homeschooled. He was the one who proposed to go against the government decided not to file birth certificates for the children, and stopped registering and insuring the family car. Gene kept preparing for the End of the Day, as he was so certain that the Days of Abomination were upon them. He never knew the whole story of their neighbor, the Weavers, as Tara revealed after she went to college, the Weavers didn’t get by the Feds shoot just because they didn’t make their children school, and in fact, they didn’t die. However, Gene kept believing that the Feds would come after the Westovers very soon, and he was afraid, and timid, just like a rat in a hole. His ignorance had caused many unpredictable troubles.
Gene was born in the mountains, in the rural Mormon community. The behaviors of him and his brothers were distasteful and mischievous. Gene believes a woman’s place is in the home, which seems quite feudal to me. He was so strict and stubborn, and consistently believed that it’s honorable to have dirty hands as it’s covered with “honest dirt”. He was rude to the elders and confident with his own decisions. All the behaviors Gene had made gave me a sense of disgust, pursuing his unreasonable religious beliefs, destroying the kids’ bright future, and leading his wife to many bad habits.
For a long period, Gene seemed to deflate, as “darkness gathered in his eyes until it filled them”. When the whole family went to Arizona and gathered with Grandma, a phone call from Grandma for an appointment with the doctor irritated Gene, as he said many things about Illuminati, and said directly to his mother that “you’re a knowing participant in the plans of Satan”. Gene was so insane in his religious belief, even in front of his closest kin. He believes doctors are trying to kill you and the only option acceptable is to take pills and herbs, which made me feel creepy. As the story moves on, when many of his kids got hurt or burned while working in his junkyard, he didn’t offer proper protection, which a decent parent should do. He never trusted the doctors, even when he was greatly burnt and his heart stopped to beat for several times, he insisted on getting cured and treated by the tinctures and unguent consisting only of herbs and oils made by Faye.
Many of the family members had their body parts gashed squashed or broken or burned during their labor for Gene. Tara’s brother lost a finger and another brother’s girlfriend lost half of her index, but Gene was cold and never took these events seriously. Once, Tara’s leg got hurt badly in an accident during work. Gene didn’t even express his concerns to Tara, and he never really cared how hard the time it was for Faye to deal with her headache, he just wanted her to continue her work as a midwife and go back to normal.
Once Tara went out from home and sought some jobs to earn money and took classes to learn more things such as dancing and singing. However, Gene believed the dance teacher was another follower of Satan because dancing is a “licentious” behavior. By then, Tara started to sing. Her charming voice gained many compliments and encouragements, these made Gene so grateful that he seemed to be proud of Tara, and he finally stood by his daughter’s side to support her with money, for his girl to attend rehearsals and auditions. That surprised me, that this father finally acted as a father. But after all, the reason why he supported Tara is because singing can satisfy his vanity. Every time Tara had any honors, he gave the credit to himself. When Tara got 27 on her ACT and received an offer from BYU, he thought it proved that “our home school is as good as any public education”.
A car accident occurred because of Gene’s craziness. He kept speeding up the van, and the van ended up in the lake. That was so irresponsible, how could he be a father? When Tara was young, how she wished she could have a good father, “As I wished he were, some longed-for defender, some fanciful champion, one who wouldn’t fling me into a storm, and who, if I was hurt, would make me whole.”
Once, Gene brought back the most frightening machine, the Shear, it was so dangerous as if it was like a toy, a toy that could simply take your head off. After Luke got injured, Gene told Tara to come, Gene never cared if Tara was a girl or not, or if she was a kid or not, he just wanted a crew to work for him. His face became rigid and desperate while Tara hesitated.
Gene has a strong desire to control others which makes him morbid. And he wouldn’t stop persuading Tara to come back home from college until the last moment. Even after Tara went to college, he menaced Tara if she doesn’t work in the junkyard for him, then she mustn’t come back.
While studying psychology in college, Tara finally realized that Gene fit into the symptoms: depression, mania, paranoia, euphoria, delusions of grandeur, and persecution. Gene always put faith before safety, because he believed in himself, and let all the other family members pay for it.
Finally, Gene paid for himself, he got burnt badly, that he had no skin on that part, and his heart stopped several times. He hadn’t eaten and drunk for three days but survived just like a miracle. Then it felt like he had changed, he started to listen to people talking instead of giving lectures, and he started to care about Tara’s new life in college, and I thought that was going to be a happy ending. However, Gene’s nature still existed. He was patriarchal, even Tara was that intelligent, he demanded Tara with his grating words, “You’re a woman, ain’tcha? Well, this here’s a kitchen.” So offensive. And what’s even more “incredible”, is that Gene has been protecting Shawn all the time, he never believed in the girls’ words, and never stood by their side. He said Tara was hysterical after accusing Shawn, and told all the family members how ungrateful Tara was, and he warned Audrey to stay away from her. When Gene visited Havard along with Tara, he told Tara that she had been taken by Lucifer, and wanted to take her back. Tara finally stood up for herself, she said a definite “no”, and that was when Tara “lost” her whole family.
Faye
Faye was born into a dainty family. Her parents which refer to Grandma and Grandpa-over-in-town, were cultured. Grandma-over-in-town learned many things to elevate her status and construct a perfect family, and shield her children from the social contempt, as she dedicated much for better respectability. Faye chose to marry Gene, despite the opposition and dissatisfaction from her entire family.
Faye worked from an herbalist to a midwife assistant and then an almighty midwife. The job of midwife was a decision by Gene, but Faye continued this job and succeeded. She assists Judy with several deliveries, and she had many concerns before becoming a midwife by herself. Judy moved unfortunately and this pushed Faye to overcome all the worries, and did a great job and earned lots of money after all. Faye seemed to be a heroine at this moment, because her ability to make lots of money fulfilled the requirements of her children, and she helped Tara and other kids to get a birth certificate and bought her relatively expensive food. Faye was a competent person, as she used the money left to learn more skills to reduce the newborn mortality possibility. Nevertheless, Faye’s mindset changed from time to time on account of the influence of Dad, she used to believe in science but now started to believe in magic and God. But after all, she’s a competent entrepreneur, she managed business as a midwife and herbalist at home and helped Gene to hire people to work here after she “rescued” Gene from the burn, just like a workshop.
She was a good wife, so compliant and meek, but never a strong and responsible mother. Once Luke accidentally caught on fire and got burned badly in an accident. Without the proper education from parents, the kids have no clue about what should be done. After the situation got better, Gene and Faye didn’t even express their caring and consideration for their child, which made me feel weird that I wanted to question the parents’ responsibility. Even though it’s Luke’s fault and his issue to solve this kind of problem, he’s still a child, under his parents’ protection. However, Gene and Faye were cold and didn’t know what’s proper parenting.
Faye used to teach the kids math and reading and allowed the oldest sons of the family to attend schools, but things changed because of the great influence of Gene. After Tara had decided to learn ACT, Faye also taught her a bit of math the best she could with her limited knowledge. But sadly, she didn’t even know or care about how old was Tara, which was hurting.
But then, when Faye offered help to confront Gene after Tara and Audrey told her the truth about Shawn abusing them throughout those years, she guaranteed that she would protect them, as they are her children. These words touched Tara, and she felt she was living the life she had never lived. But the time when Tara was facing Gene, she never stood up and talked, granting and ratifying Gene’s lectures and ignoring Tara’s sobs and explanations. She never helped Tara subsequently, she backed up for Shawn, pretending to not understand Tara’s words. Faye had shared Gene’s dark vision, and she believed the devil had a hold of Tara, so she wrote letters and sent messages to tell others to stay away from Tara.
Faye was building her life on fear, her fear of her husband, and the so-called loyalty, that hurt her daughter’s heart. After all, she has never recanted to Tara.
Shawn
Shawn is a very important character in this story, not that he was important to help Tara to be educated, but all his behaviors had great influence, corresponding to Gene.
Shawn quarreled with Gene when he was seventeen and ran off to work until six years later, he came back home to help Gene in the junkyard. He left me with an unforgettable impression from the very beginning, that I thought he was the kind of brother so strong and cool and awesome, to protect his sister whenever needed, and be righteous all the time. Tara said “It was his smile I loved best”, it was such a pleasurable time that Tara and Shawn were horseback riding together.
Once Shawn was asked for long-haul trucking, he said he couldn’t go without Tara. During the trip they had great fun together, eating Cheetos and playing Mario Kart, Shawn even taught Tara martial arts. He called Tara “Siddle Lister”, and brought her to her auditions.
Shawn should be very handsome, girls liked him. A girl called Sadie was being so nice to Shawn, despite Shawn’s all kinds of sarcasm and obstruction. He was mean to Sadie, and he described that she had “lovely eyes just like a fish”. This contrast between how Shawn treated his followers and his very little sister was conspicuous. But just then, after Shawn noticed that Sadie was being intimate with another boy Charles, he went mean and mad. He revenged, and after he came home, he was in a strange mood. A simple behavior by Tara irritated Shawn, he grabbed Tara’s hair and dropped her head into the toilet, he seized her wrist and folded it until her body began to coil as Tara could hardly move and breathe. This too suddenly almost broke Tara’s heart. Shawn apologized after the event, but that didn’t mean he would stop, and that event left a shadow in Tara’s heart.
Shawn was becoming meaner and meaner. He couldn’t let Tara wear makeup and said Tara was a whore, a slut, a prostitute, and these words intimidated Tara for a long time and she was afraid to be her real self. He kept on bullying Tara with his brutal force and rage, but later on, he always apologized and acted as a caring person and smiled with an innocent look.
Shawn was the only one brave enough to confront Gene, to point out his mistakes. He’s the only one whose force of mind, whose sheer tonnage of conviction, could make Gene away. He’s a good worker in Gene’s junkyard, a good foreman. But accidents did occur, as he fell from a gurney at a high ground, and life was leaking out of him, he was disoriented and weak. That was the first time the family dialed 911. In the hospital, Shawn was longing for Tara to come, as he missed her and she was so important to him. It had not been a long time since Shawn hit a cow coming around the corner on the middle of the highway, his body was contorted, lying in a pool of blood. There was a hole the size of a golf ball in his forehead. I felt so sorry for Shawn and pitied her. And I thought Shawn had changed after the accidents, that he was being protective again, arguing directly with Gene that Tara shouldn’t be working with the Shear, and he decided to work together with Tara despite his weakness after the injury. He encouraged Tara with his strong words that Tara shouldn’t give up practicing ACT and go and find a college, that he had faith in her. And he even gave money to Tara when she was in need.
But things had been worse. I believe Shawn was the one with the most severe symptoms of bipolar disorder. His fickleness has brought more and more horrific behavior. He got enraged easily and abused Tara with the same means in the toilet. And then when Shawn saw Charles’s car in the parking lot while Tara was looking dirty and stained, he began to laugh loudly, and wildly, and pulled Tara out of the car with violence and cracked her wrist. He almost shot Tara as he was pointing a pistol at her. And he was mean to his wife, as usual, abusing her with words and violence.
After Shawn had heard about Audrey and Tara planning to tell him off, he threatened Audrey with a gun, and he placed a blade with blood on Tara’s palm, after killing his pet dog. That knife was a knife of rage. Tara apologized and made a fake smile after that event, and this brother and sister will never compromise. Shawn called Tara over, being so aggressive, he asked Tara whether she would like to be killed by Shawn himself, or if he would hire an assassin.
Tyler
Tyler was the only breath of fresh air in the whole family. “He was waltzing while the rest of us hopped a jig; he was deaf to the raucous music of our lives, and we were deaf to the serene polyphony of his.” He enjoyed music and reading books, and he was determined to go to college. I admire his volitional qualities. There were good memories of Tara listening to music along with Tyler, enjoying the tranquility. Most memories of Tyler were from Tara’s childhood and adolescence. Tyler is a nice person, being himself, and supporting Tara in positive ways, and he believed Tara was special. Tyler’s dream was impeded by Gene, but after all, Tyler still left for college studying.
After Tyler had left, there was less and less contact between Tara and Tyler, and he had his own life in the outside world. But once he came back home noticing that Shawn was doing something bad to Tara, he stopped Shawn’s behavior and encouraged Tara to leave and go to a school outside, so that there wouldn’t be time for Tara to hesitate. He told Tara to buy books study ACT and go apply for BYU. Tyler was smart, and he had great achievements by learning on his own. He explained some knowledge and equations to Tara over and over again, but still, he had his work to be done. Tyler wanted to live a new life, apart from his old family in Buck’s Peak.
But Tyler was a good brother, he stood up for Tara, of course he failed to converse with Gene and Faye, and was threatened with disownment, but he tried his best, he kept struggling to help Tara, and didn’t betray his sister or disobey the truth. At last, he never wavered.
Audrey
Audrey’s education hovered between fourth- and fifth-grade levels. She is a decent daughter and wife, but never a strong woman. Audrey experienced all the abuse and maltreatment from Shawn just as Tara did, she also endured them all. When she realized that Tara had shared her pain too, she wrote to Tara to confess that she had a miserable time when her mother didn’t believe in her, and later on she stopped believing in herself, thus not helping Tara to defend Shawn when she was in need. Audrey and Tara decided to convince their parents and fight for themselves, to notify others of what harmful behaviors Shawn had done to them. Audrey and Tara both knew that it’s painful to face reality, to realize something ugly, that it would be even easier and more troubleless if they consistently and perpetually escaped from this problem and just let it be. But Audrey amplified that she was stronger now, to ask Tara to help and face reality together, and she believed Tara was strong and rational.
But after knowing that Tara had failed to negotiate with Gene, she no longer stood by Tara’s side, and she forgave Shawn for all that he had done, even though she was the one to ask for help in the first place. She told Tara that Tara would not be welcomed in her home and that Tara was dangerous. This was so ironic, the situation was perverse, that no one would choose Tara or stand by the truth, instead of being subdued by the great power and attraction of family belonging.
Charles
Charles was Tara’s first boyfriend and he must know at least something about Tara’s family, especially Shawn. Charles has a good temper, considering how he responds to the offending words from Shawn. Charles and Tara spent every evening together for some time and both treated the other carefully. Charles was from the “outside world”, he showed Tara how pills work much better than herbs, and he told Tara to learn to ask for help from others. But once when their body was coming closer, Tara suddenly stopped, and she felt disgusted by herself because the word “whore” echoed in her head, and she was terrified that if she came closer to a man, she would become a whore. Charles also witnessed how Shawn abused Tara, as well as what happened in the parking lot. He couldn’t understand why Tara was laughing and pretending that she was okay, so he told Tara, that he couldn’t save Tara, only Tara could. All these factors stopped Tara from dating and continuing the relationship with Charles, and their relationship ended.
Nick
Nick was Tara’s second boyfriend. At that period, Tara was seeking something new and unconventional to her, but she didn’t want to face the truth about her original family. Tara disguised all the facts about her family and avoided all conversations on that topic, which made Nick feel weird. Nick tried to show his consideration to Tara, but Tara seemed to avoid it. Until finally, it was too late for Tara to confide with Nick, so she said goodbye.
Professor Jonathan Steinberg, Dr. Paul Kerry
Professor Steinberg was a nice person, he was the one to discover the strength and talent in Tara, and he had been believing in Tara all the time.
Dr. Kerry discovered Tara’s strength at Cambridge, and he encouraged Tara with these sincere compliments, “You are not fool’s gold, shining only under a particular light. Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you. Not in Cambridge. In you. You are gold. And returning to BYU, or even to that mountain you came from, will not change who you are. It may change how others see you, it may even change how you see yourself—even gold appears dull in some lighting—but that is the illusion. And it always was.” His words remade Tara, become confident and strong.
All the professors are nice to Tara, believing, and waiting for Tara to be confident, because it doesn’t matter what dress she wears, it’s her heart and mind.
Tara
I spoke of Tara in the end, because all the people she encountered could reflect her own experiences and illustrate how impressive it was that she fought for herself and has grown into a strong and independent woman.
She seems to be accustomed to all these issues in her family and accepts them without any doubt, and she wouldn’t ask for a birth certificate or long for some rights, because she thought things were just meant to be like this. Tara has been educated in the rhythms of the mountain for all the years, living with a father insane with superstition, a mother without caring, and a brother continuing bullying her and their relationship is so complicated. She tried to escape from reality and persuade herself that she was just being too sensitive. The first time when Shawn had abused her, she felt so much pain in her heart that she couldn’t believe, it was her most intimate brother who did the most unforgivable behavior to her. “Her eyes were glassy and drops slid down her cheeks.” But she kept reminding herself that it must be merely the physical pain that made her cry, which I felt strange, but still, I can understand that it must be very unbelievable to her. With Shawn being more and more wicked, she kept forgiving him, however, and kept excusing himself for Shawn’s nasty behaviors. Being paranoid, and concerned about what has happened, making it up for Shawn. “My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.” But she wished to be strong, didn’t she?
By then, at that time she wasn’t. She acted as if she was fearless, that she wouldn’t need help from others, in front of Charles, in front of the strangers in the parking lot. She laughed and joked, abnormally, pretending that she was just playing with Shawn, disguising the embarrassment and fear. After she went back to college, she told herself that she “could not see a counselor”, because she believed herself “invincible”. That was an elegant deception, a mental pirouette.
Tara didn’t have any family background that could support her to go to college, especially with father’s restrictions. But with encouragement from the ones who loved Tara, she studied hard and made a miracle herself. Attending college was an end, she had to fight with the superstition that implanted in her heart throughout all these overwhelming years. When she entered BYU, she was approximately the only one being so devout. She said “My loyalty to my father had increased in proportion to the miles between us. On the mountain, I could rebel. But here, in this loud, bright place, surrounded by gentiles disguised as saints, I clung to every truth, every doctrine he had given me.” But in fact, she has always been longing for a good father, counting on the conflict between them coming to an end, wishing to be at peace. Finally, after receiving more knowledge and an official education in college, she started to question, to query, and she realized that it was astonishing for her to believe all her father’s words without the slightest suspicion.
Life on the outside was unfamiliar, so there were many moments when she wanted to return to Buck’s Peak. Life wasn’t easy, accepting the truth that she had never really received any proper education, nor been homeschooled. She acted ignorant and weird studying with others, and she didn’t even have friends. When she grasped that there were chasms between her and other students, she studied from day to night, filling all the blank spaces in her head, and surpassing other students with her efforts. She was even bewildered and indecisive, her family environment strongly impeded her career. “The scratch of pencils on paper, the clack of a projector moving to the next side, the peal of bells signaling the end of class—all were drowned out by the clatter of iron and the roar of diesel engines.”
She failed the exams and had no one to confess to, but she adjusted her study habits and became better as soon as she knew how. She earned a scholarship herself to afford the tuition fee and even won the Gates scholarship. She studied more about bipolar disorder on account of her dad, which intrigues her interest in this field. The unique experiences made Tara to be the Tara today, that she was so suffocated by rage. She has her view on the symptoms of psychology and Mormon religion and history, and she has talent in music. Her essays impressed so many professors which gave her a chance to study in Cambridge. She thought she didn’t belong to a college like that, but she soon proved to be one of the finest students. She made more and more friends and stepped out of her comfort zone, she traveled to Rome together with her friends and had an indelible experience. She started to open her past and her family to others, sharing her distinct stories. She formed a healthy relationship with her new boyfriend, Drew.
I won’t deny that she’s intelligent and gifted, but what’s more pivotal, is her diligence and strength.
But when she knew that she had lost her family, Mom, Dad, Audrey, and Shawn, she panicked. She became skeptical of herself, starting to defend her memory, and the truth, and to question them. Erin, Shawn’s ex-girlfriend wrote to encourage Tara, and she affirmed to Tara that she had been abused by Shawn too, so Tara started to search for more testimony. More and more people confirmed her, but the idea of losing her family made her feel paralyzed, and she stopped studying, getting worse in her tests and essays, and arguing with her friends about something trivial. Then, Tara sent a letter to Dad, a letter full of rage, a torrent of frustration and abuse, a sign that she was cutting off contact with her parents. Courage by Tyler’s trust in her, she continued to work on her PhD essay and received the degree.
In the end, Tara was closer to Tyler, Richard, and Tony, and something was separating the family, from Gene, Faye, Shawn, Audrey, and her husband Benjamin, by a line called educated.
